Ah!  Dating.  Isn’t it just a dream?  No matter how you look at it, there is always some sort of catch.  The guy you are dating turns out to be married.  The girl you are dating turns out to be a guy.  Your parents hate the person you are dating no matter what sex, gender, background, sexual orientation, financial bracket or a million other things that they are.

O.K.  Here’s my top five reasons: 1) Less time to have to get face to face with people to eliminate them or figure out if there’s a chance with them.  2) No wasted time having to hang out with potential losers. 3) Getting at least basic information quickly without having to hang out.  4) Letting the site “match” you with your soul mate, friend for life, etc.  5) Not having to have dinner or drinks and get stuck having to pay for them yourself on top of getting stuck with someone you are not comfortable with and not ever, ever, ever going on a date or anywhere else with.

So if you are going to try out a dating service where do you start?  The internet seemed the first place to go, so I went right on with a ton of determination and decided to check things out and narrow it down to a few dating services. 

Page after page on the internet have catchy – and not so catchy – names of dating services and there are all sorts of memberships, prices and more.  And let’s not forget the “non-dating” dating sites that are “match” sites that supposedly match you from the core of your being to the core of another person’s being.  Those are the sites with a gazillion questions which are supposed to connect you at first site - or even before first site - for the rest of your life.

So, how did it work?  Well, I can tell you that it was a lot of work.  I only picked five sites to begin with, thinking that I could always pick more sites if these didn’t work and if I needed to check further. 

Without getting into fees, newsletters and any other extras that most sites push to make their extra money, let’s just deal with the basics, which are hard enough alone.  Most of the sites ask for a ton of information.  You know, the usual age range, interests, what you are looking for in another person and more.  Once you have filled out whatever you need to fill out you start getting connected with other individuals that are available.  Great idea, right?

Wrong.  Why?  My opinion, and probably the opinions of many others who have gone through this same process trying to find someone to date or fall in love with, is that we are all hopeful romantics at some level, even though we feel somewhat hopeless at times.  We hope that if we dump all of our information into a computer, somehow Mr. or Ms. Right will show up.  No muss, no fuss.

So we start looking at profiles of people on the site and put them in the “Yes” or “No” pile, depending upon what we like or don’t like.  Could be looks.  Could be interests.  Could be the smallest thing they have written about themselves or written about what they are looking for.  Or it could simply be gut instinct.  I go with my gut no matter whether it’s dating, a business deal or whether to do something or buy something.

So, we go with our gut and possibly start communication with one or more of the people who stand out.  We start the communication process with these individuals and try to get to know them a little bit.  I am not going to say that in most cases there is a lot of missing information or that there are a lot of exaggerations, but I am going to say that there are a lot of details to be dug up.  Still waters run deep – what is the information behind and underneath the basic information these individuals are sharing with you?   It takes time to dig enough to find out – if the individual wants you to know.

Now, I am not saying that this is necessarily wrong.  With any meeting, dating and subsequent relationship, information if usually released as trust develops and increases.  Some people say that it is easier to do this online because by the time you actually meet the basic issues are out of the way and you can get to know each other better as well as getting to know some of the other details you don’t have.

I was thinking that the interesting thing is that this is basically the same as meeting someone, starting to date them, getting to know them, and as time and the relationship with that person progresses, getting to trust each other with the private and intimate details that you each decide to share with one another to move toward the next level.

What did I find out is telling.  I think I spent more time trying to figure out who was a good match and try to set up a meeting with them through a dating site than I would have by meeting someone.  In addition, I found out that when a person says they are 5 ft. 10 inches, 165 pounds, blonde hair and blue eyes and athletic, that could be quite different than the actual truth.  Athletic to me is at least walking from time to time, even on a treadmill; riding a bike or going to the gym, or even using the WII exercise package.  Athletic to some people I have communicated with means sitting for several hours playing Halo or Need for Speed or some other video game which possibly improves your eye-hand coordination, but does nothing for your physique and your physical fitness.

After this little escapade, all I can say is that I like the old fashioned way of meeting people.  Having a cup of coffee at Starbucks.  Meeting someone through a friend or family.  I found out that meeting someone face-to-face saves a lot of time, a lot of filling out forms, and “meeting” a lot of people who are supposed to be – according to their profile – in at least decent, good or great shape, but end up being couch potatoes.

Some of the people you meet online are supposedly readers or love art, etc., etc.

Then you actually talk to them or meet them and they are barely literate and have no idea who Picasso is or Monet is.  Meeting a person in person gives you a faster opportunity to figure all this out.